If there is one thing that irritates me more than anything - it's my car. I love you DateMobile, really I do. But there's just something about you that drives me crazy...
Maybe it's the lack of Air Conditioning or Heat. Maybe it's the incessant grinding noise you make when I want you to go in reverse. Could it possibly be the lack of shocks and thereof for the past year and a half I've been driving you. What about the tires that are almost balled in the rear? Maybe it's the cracks in the front windshield. Or perhaps the mileage..
Oh the mileage. There's something very humbling about a car that lasts for sixteen years on the road and has put over 307,800 miles under its "belt" (that was a pun about the different belts under the hood just in case you missed it).
Despite all these things, I still love you and cherish you DateMobile. Man you are so hot. You know how to turn the ladies on, or at least one lady I know. She's told me flat out that she'd much rather take you, DateMobile, to a fancy resteraunt on any given basis.
Well, your days may be coming to an end. That's all I can say right now. I just need some time apart. I just need some time for me, ya know. It's not you, it's me...that kind of deal.
I mean what more could I ask for?
My first car was a 1989 Pontiac GrandAm. Sweet stuff. I bought it my junior year of High School for $1000 bucks.
I burned up the motor when antifreeze got mixed in with the engine oil. Don't ask me how.
Then it was another gift to receive a 1994 Saturn 2 door coupe from Amanda's mom for free by golly! I loved this car except for the constant oil-burning engine that had to be refurbished after every 300 miles or so with fresh oil. But man it had leather seats and tinted windows. It was the deal!
Now it's you Mr. Corolla. A 5 speed stick I learned to drive in an hour to get to work at Sam's Club in Murfreesboro. At first we had good times, then summer rolled around and...well, I guess I wore out the AC(blower motor) cus I was oh so hot in my DateMobile so you decided to slowly begin your descent into the heaping mass of metal and plastic pushpinned-ceiling you are today.
I see you there...lonely in the parking lot, begging for the clutch to be repaired.
But no. I won't succumb to that. I checked your Kelley Blue Book value and I found out the truth. You're not worth anything more than $400 bucks!! There's no way on earth I'm gonna replace the clutch, especially when I get it priced from an honest mechanic for $800. You gotta be kidding me!
I've gotten two free cars in the past 5 years - talk about a deal!
However, you let yourself slip Corolla. How could you do this to yourself?
I've held back on this intervention for far too long now.
This might be the end.
Just give me some space for now...
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